Old Friends

This post might seem kind of sad, since I've been sick and feel kind of melancholy, but I'm feeling better and I'm going to load you with a ton of words so prepare!! There's something I've noticed or thought about lately. Have you ever just thought about your old friends or people you never talk to anymore that you used to be so close to? It happens to me all the time. I just can't help but kind of miss old friends. I've never had good history with girls. I'd rather be friends with guys. Thinking back to my middle school years, I can think of so many friends I don't talk to anymore.
So anyways, I'll tell you a few stories about past friends, hope you enjoy it (^_^)

Sixth grade:
When I was in sixth grade, I guess you could say I was really popular. I mean I hung out with the "cool" group of girls; not that I really thought much about it then. I was so carefree and funny. I was so loud and exuberant compared to a lot of my friends. My best friends were Maddy, Monica, Summer (she and Maddy will come up in later grades), and Taylor. I know there were more, but I can't remember who was in our group of friends. Everything was great for like half the year, but then drama started. There was this group of three girls: Megan, Gisele, and Mckenzie.Oh, they were always trying to find something to say about me. I got that tooken care of though. They got in so much trouble when they drew pictures of me and gave them to me after. Then, after that feud was died down;  for some reason Summer started to tell me I was rude and annoying or that I followed and copied them. I was so confused because I never followed them. I've always been my own self and pretty independent. Pretty soon she started ignoring me and she got Taylor and Monica to go along with her. Maddy still talked to me, but didn't hang out with me all that much. I still sat with Maddy at lunch, though. Then "war" broke out. Summer and Taylor started fights with me; harassing me. Mckenzie, from the group of girls that had harassed me earlier that year started talking to me when she heard me and Summer weren't hanging out anymore. So I fell into her group. I changed. I was not the sweet little innocent, exuberant girl anymore. I was the bitchy, snobby, "don't talk to me" girl. Pretty soon, I started dating Oscar, my on and off boyfriend, who was known to be quite the man-slut. I guess I just wanted to fit in. Most likely, I'm not the only one that has done stupid things to fit in? Anyways, I hung out with them until Summer and Megan started talking. That's when our two group joined together; and I was in the middle of the two. Maddy wanted me in her group and Mckenzie wanted me in her group, so by being together I was finally in a somewhat safe place. This is the year I met my bestest friend in the world, Sarah, as well. Everything stayed the way it was until Summer time going into seventh grade.

Seventh grade:
In the summer before seventh grade, I was still hanging out with all the people I was before, but for some reason Gisele and Megan didn't like me anymore, so along with them left Mckenzie. So I was again with Maddy, Summer, and Monica. This time Taylor was out of the mix. Summer had decided to get rid of her. So on my birthday, I had invited Sarah, even though I barely even knew her (>.<) I just felt like she needed some friends and a good time. She was never fond of me before this. I guess our friendship was meant to be (haha cheesy) because I wouldn't have done that for anyone else; it's just not me. So a few weeks after my birthday, Summer invited me on a camping trip. I went of course  because she was considered my best friend at the time. So, it was so fun and everything I thought it would be, but at night when we had nothing to do, she talked crap about Maddy, Megan, Mckenzie, and just everyone. I didn't want to seem like a goody two shoes so I just kind of nodded along, I NEVER said anything bad about any of my friends. So after the camping trip, Summer stayed over for a night. I noticed Summer was texting Maddy a lot. Summer said she had to leave, so she did. Maddy apparently had to go to a wedding, but that was NOT true because Summer went straight to her house after she left mine. Maddy and Megan started texting me telling me that I'm such a shit talker and that I'm rude. Maddy asked me all these questions like "you said you think I'm too much of a flirt?" and "you called me fat?" and "you think the way I dress is ugly?" I was so overwhelmed by this because I had never said any of those things. Turns out Summer was over there telling them I said that. I know because I asked Maddy why she thought I said these things, and she said I believe my friends. I asked her who is telling her these things and she says Summer. So there you have another time Summer ditches me. So I was so alone feeling. I didn't know what to do. I mean what did I have? That group of friends was long gone, and the other group of friends had left me long ago. I spent so many days crying and being depressed. I didn't have any friends all because of something I never did. What was wrong with me? I still wonder that. But (lightbulb) I had Sarah. So I texted her and she told me to call her. She sat through and listened to everything. I even cried over the phone. For three hours! That's when I knew Sarah was a good friend.

So for the seventh grade I was with Sarah's group of friends (Taylor was in it). I was made fun of and talked about by my old friends for such a long time.  As for Oscar, I started going out with him again. So, what did that result in? Me not hanging out with Sarah and her friends  anymore; she hated Oscar. So I hung out with his friends. That's when I became good friends with Haleigh. That's how it stayed for a really long time. Towards the end of the year, Oscar broke up with me. All I had was Haleigh and she was never a good shoulder to cry on. So I went to Sarah and stayed with her. Pretty soon Summer was my friend again. It was all so confusing.

Eighth Grade:
This grade was one of the most consistent years I've ever had and I'm so happy about it! I hung out with Summer, Sarah, Megan, Amanda, Sarah, Mckenzie (a different Mckenzie from the beginning), Caity (a new student), and Courtney (another new student). We were a humble group, but we were close and happy!! But then for some reason Summer and Megan I guess started not to like me. Pretty soon Caity didn't like me either. Amanda and Courtney didn't mind me, but they weren't as friendly to me as they once were. That year I had been quite a quiet girl because I had learned to keep my mouth closed, since I guess it had caused me some problems in the past. So one day, at lunch, Megan tells me not to sit with them. I was so confused. I mean, I've never done anything to them. I've always been so nice to them! So for the rest of eighth grade I was pretty alone. I still had Sarah, since they stopped sitting with Summer and all, but we were never as close as we used to be. So I was depressed a lot because I felt alone. I also had insomnia a lot that year, towards the end of the year, so I was out of school a lot.

At the end of the year I moved and made new wonderful friends at a great new school!! I've been loving it and wish to never go back to that school where I was taken for granted and mistreated. These girls at my new school are like me and accept me for ME. I want nothing more. I am so glad to have made that change. I know some day there will be tension and feud between me and some other girl, but for now I'll appreciate what I have for friends. I have no really close friends because I've learned not to get too attached to people because they will someday leave you. Or maybe they won't, who knows?

By the way, I'll be writing in a slightly larger font because I find the old font harder to read. I know this has been a long post, I'm sorry for those who have read this whole thing. I really feel quite crappy so I'll go to bed, I think. Good night!! Hope this post enlightened someone!! ❤❤❤